xiii: you said move on (where do i go)

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I LOVE MY FAMILY, MY GIRLFRIENDS:D CANT WAIT FOR UNI LIFE TO START:D.
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title:
date: Thursday, April 30, 2009
time:8:52 PM

Today, syf audition. it was really depressing in a way. after we played on stage, we still thought we did ok, in fact up till now, i believe many of us still thought it was ok, but stil even NJC and HCI got silver, so i tink we really cannot say anything. They played sop mch better, and definitely deserve a gold or gold with honours even. i suppose they are more depressed than us. The worst part is not getting silver, but that everyone got silver, so there wasnt really like good or bad. YUHUA screwed up they got silver, NJ din screw up and they got silver too. i wonder whats they judges thinking, or is it some form of education, teaching us how to accept faiulures in life or sth. its ultimate stupid.

I realise, thruout my life its rather smoothsailing. so din really experienced much disappointement before, i suppose this is one of them. when i was there, receving the results with all the bands, i din really felt upset, but after i returned to vj, i suddenly felt overwhelmed, its like disappointing a lot of ppl, and we are the third performing arts grp getting silver in vj. we really wanted to do vj proud, although we din maaged to in the end. silver in vj is lousy lets face facts. glod is the norm usually. although this year there is a sudden dip, n the no. of gold awards achieved, but still. this kind of thing is kinda absolute. who knows that every band gets silver. harmonica band is already not a very prestigious cca in vj, getting silver, just means that our status would become even lower, or remain. so its kinda sian. ya.

anyway i suppose in life, there are a lot of things tat are beyond our control. its just like alevels in a way, at least every one put in their best. i finally understood, why ppl always say when u have put in your best you shldnt have any more regrets.in a way. its true. i din regret anything for syf. ya. and i hope i wont for alevels aso.

i think all harmoc members rock!!! esp the EXCO!

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title:
date: Tuesday, April 28, 2009
time:10:07 PM

today is a special day, no sand, no rock, no sea and no taking of pics and of course nobody that wil keep calling no sitting on the swing and being comforted.., but life still goes on. wa, have harmoc until veri late today. harmoc have been taxing recently. but, ya, its a good excuse to slack. syf is this thurs. so shal start mugging after that. hahas..just an excuse i suppose. hmm. attempted to recover some memoris by walking from the 325 busstop back home. Along the road, many memories flow back. i was crying and smiling at the same time, i realize time is indeed a great healer. my wounds were deeper than i thought. but ya, one day i wil recover.

keqin was saying whether is cannot put down, or dont want to. sometimes i wonder. From all this i have learnt an impt lesson, cherish the ppl arnd u before they are gone. left half a yr in vjc only. so fast. lol.

anway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FATS!!

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title:
date: Sunday, April 26, 2009
time:5:36 PM

The tv show reminds me of myself. in a bad way, the same mistakes made.recently, really feel very empty, esp every morning when i first reached sch. dont have the sense of belonging. No mood to study, so like really just slacking the time away. empty really empty. i wil bring myself out of this, and i hope its like soon. ahahs. anyway, there is ECONS test tomolo. so sian. haven finish writing the notes, so ya, just work on it later. lif eis really very boring. ahha. syf makes liffe ultra hectic. but in a way, its a form of fun. and its really nice to be in harmoc, sometimes. takes my mind off studying. Like mr pang say, my sense of belonging. ahhas. next week is wanxin birthday party. oh my, better faster go do my econs notes. feel like eating chips, yum yum.

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title:
date: Wednesday, April 22, 2009
time:11:09 AM

"If it is not form the hear its not worth doing" a simple sentence, and everyone can understand it perfectly, ut how many of us actually abide to this. sick for two days le, was reading 'tuesdays with morrie' with 3/4 of my eyes open. cos its stil kind of swollen. It really teaches a lot of life lessons, and although most of the values is wad people already know, many of us just escaped from it. haven finish the book yet. read 3/4 but wondered how much i really absorbed.

i should learn to face up to myself, learn to detach myself from certain emotions and start to love people around me.

if i were to die today, i would have so many regrets, so many things left unsaid, so many emotions and feelings that i never make known. all hidden within me.

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