its always easy for others to say how to let go and stuff i guess, but its not easy when u are the persn makign that choice. oh wells. anw, quit thinking abt all these rubbish alrdy. haha. yeps. its time to move on into my proper holidays. just dont like it when me and my moods are so easily affected by one other person. th feeling sucks bady. esp when u cant control it. very touched. just one status and a lot fo ppl showed concern. shocked. at this timing somemore. oh wells. haha. appreciate all these la. serious:) and all the htht with my good frens recently really helped a lot! <3 them

oh wells, i shld just quit emo-ing and move on. so easy to say, yet after these few days i stil cant do it. i knw i din put int a lot of effort. its so hard to fall in <3 and it sucks to knw that the person u are in love with is looking for someone that is not u. actually its not that hurting any more la. but i realise, that only those things that truly matter to u can hurt u. esp small things.

ppl always say, "its the small things that matter" yup to continue this line, "its those that matter that can hurt u" so = to small things can hurt badly. haha. ok lame. wad a statement.

see how it goes ba. maybe its karma. Lol.

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finally, i can sense the joy and fun of HOLIDAYSSSSSSS! WHEE. all the activities planned this week are truly exciting! i cant wait !:):) esp batam trip over the weekend! ahhaha! whee... i guess i am really someone that cant be controlled. whoops!:) meeting LWX later. chillax . dressed-up and just chillax. hahaha. ok <3 chilling nowadays. think i shld attempt to spend more time at home. ever since exams ended, haven really had much time for family bonding. whoops. sounds bad. need to faster org outings with my cousins. bring my family to eat buffet. or just have dinner outside. cant wait for all these exciting stuff coming upz! going off to meet 08s53 tmr:) long time no see. wonder how is everyone doing alrdy. i am sure everyone would be great. meeting up with ppl that u haven seen for a long time shld be quite a great feeling provided that there is no awkwardness. heehee. at least dinner at home tmr. so not that bad i guess. whee. and thurs outing with WHY at hall 9 really excites me too!:) cant wait srsly. omg. hahah. stayign overnight, playing mahjong, singing kbox in the afternoon. this is what i call life:)

<3 my life

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oh well. so much have happened these few mths. suddenly i realise how naive i am. lame. i shld have just known better then fallen into some hole that is hard for me to pull out. oh wells. i suppose its an entirely new experience. anw, i suppose very few ppl in this world is able to affect me and my studies. studies have always been yyl top priority. never changed for yrs. till this time round. badly affected and for all the wrong reasons. too obsessed with seeing what i wanted to see and wad i wanted to hear. yeps, wad i have always wanted to hear might not be the truth. wise words from benson as usual :) sometimes, life has these occasional moments, when lightning suddenly strikes, and the truth just seems so clear after that. nope nth major happened today. but all of a sudden i see wad everyone else had been telling me. yeps. the truth hurts and will probably hurt for some more time. but ultimately its good that i see it early.

i realised how deep i fell. into somewhere that i probably cant recover. thanks for all those that stood by me for the past mth or so:) grateful, to everyone. the path ahead is still long, filled with uncertainties. cant guarantee anything, and not implying any positive or negative ending, just suddenly realised how deep i had fallen and i can see both perspectives better now !

credits goes to benson!:) and of course, yeqi who always entertained me over this issue , keqin who really spoke into my hearts, and my roomie pyt who had wasted so much time helping me analyse. not forgetting lwx, whom i am going to update on monday :) u girls are just wad i need:) <3

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