mayb after so much stuff, after everything i have really come to realisation that liking someone, infatuation never seem to last. hence i really hope that my next partner would be someone that really loves me for who i am, and me to love him for who he is and not just base on superficial liking.

of course its hard to find:D if its so easy then true love wont be so precious anymore right? hahah!

i have been like continously snacking! yes not slacking but snacking! gosh! found a new snack in bugis! super nice! really ultimate man! better than any other snack i have eaten before:D so yep! unhealthy! cant wait for the flea tomoro :D woots! cant wait to buy new clohes sia! as always! hahhaha! i feel fatter already! not to mention my weight when i took in ntu medical centre! oh gosh *faints

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haha! YESTERDAY ATE LIKE SUPER A LOT! LIKE POP CORN, carls junior fries my fav:D and like fish and co seafood platetr! i gonan fat myself to death! desperately looking for some exercise already:D hahaha! shall go running later if i still have the strength:D hahah! super tired anw:D


so happy to see your sms yesterday:D thanks a lot for everything and all the well wishes:D very touched:D i really hope we can still remain friends after this 2 and a half yrs:D

anw, necro dinner yesterday was fabulous! got to know many other seniors:D hahah! still quite lost with names:D hahah! but nbs certainly sounds super duper fun:D hahah! but of course not to forget is thatmust definitely st study:D thats the main goal! i cant forget! its gonna get super competitive:D studying together with fun ppl will probably be the best way out:D woots!

there is a rock flea i wonder wad s that at zouk on friday! oh gosh! i wonder whetehr is it free entry. hahah! stil thinking of whether to go not! probably not since i am going the one on sat already! freaking broke my gosh! but yeah! i really still think i need more clothes! oh well,who doesnt:D hahah! this week is not that pack yet, so i shld relax and chill! hahah! chilling is quite nicee~~~ super tired today shall go have my teabing:D fav drink liao wors:D hahha!

DIETING SHLD START! gosh! looking for ppl to exercise with me!!!!

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OH GOSH! so much to update! o many photos that i haven maage to upload yet! hahahah! NBS FOC WAS SUPERB:D the best ever! totally enjoyed myself like mad! i think i went a bi overboard in terms of craziness! hahahha1 really went too crazy ready! but my og mates all super nice! bilingual so i feel quite comfortable talking to them:D they are really nice ppl la:D

no scandal for me anw:D hahaha! cant wait for hall camp! already got to know two hall mates in my og! jac and cheese:D hahahah! and somemore they are super nice ppl! oh gosh! i am ultimate lucky mann:D hahahah!

sat night out with shuqin and xue enwas super nice too:D straight after nbs camp with all my rashes and disgusting voice went out with them:d hahah! we had HTHT and the feeling was super good:D FRENS FOR LIFE:D yep! both of them would be friends i wanna keep for life:D

Not forgetting sunday night dinner with my love consultant benson siow:D wa he really super nice la! really! we had dinner at superdog one of my fav fast food places then catch inception:D hahah! i was lost by the end! sadly to say! hahah! but he did explained to me la! and he brought jacket for me! wow! touched! thanks a lot friend:D hahah! not forgetting the chocolates and the ben&jerry ice-cream:d hahahah! you brighten up my life :D the chocolates are super sweet but the kind i like! anw is i choose myself one! hahaha!

Dont worry i am sure we would be able to stay in contact if we both put in the effort! mayb we will steer off for a while first since uni life is so overwhelming:D i really appreciate the clover leaf too! like wad you say good things are worth waiting for! mr right, miss left is here waiting!!!:D:D

yesterday was another hectic day involving work and tuition! today is like a break off! but i am going so many places! hahah! work again tomoro! but my working hours have been shorten so its really great too! hahah! and thurs no work again! excellent! think my boss thnk i too free at work ready! hahah! so wna save money! anw,. i really wanna start playing ready! gonna be broke soon! spent like a bomb recently! hahaha

upcoming events:D
og outing with birdstrike
og picnic with necro
food marathon with pae frens
food marathon with benson

not forgetting meet up wqith WHY AND my pretty girls wanxin and KEQIN:D oh gosh! its gonna be a busy mth ahead for aug:D

excited:D:D:D

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went fr family buffet yesterday! saw dezhao ! catch up with him a bit! not bad not bad! think he ong quite well in hispoly! hahah! anw, went to watch hockey match after that and dinner at souperlicious:D satisfy my craving for soup and pasta:D

had a looooong talk on the phone with two close frens yesterday:D yep yep:D it was nice la really! i cant believe i talk at the pavillion until 12am ! lucky the police never ask me ic or sth la! hahah! and i am still waiting for the second part:D

anyway, cant relaly rmb wad i said in the 2-3 hour convo. was too tired and blabbering rubbish alreayd. that kind of state. hahah.! i think i was once a happy person until i got to jc, know all the harsh realities. i realise int he past 2 yrs of my life, i seem to have lost my real identity. lost he real me. i never laugh as much until mayb the last part of j2 where i was closer to amy, marli xinyi they all. they were really nice:D jc life quite screwed up owing to relationship issues, and i choose to screw it up, i even screwed up terence' life. i will forever be guilty to this. something i wont forget

on another note, this 8 mths have broaden my horizons. make me realise that there are still a lot of things i never do before and stuff. i shld continue smiling and enjoy life in my yellow yellow world, really.

thanks a lot for all the therapy sessions, all the htht, and fun u have given me. i really appreciate it. not many ppl can understand our situation like what u have said, sometimes even i get confused. but anw, u are right in saying i was once a happy girl. its time i shld get back my identity, put down all the burden and look for a new beginning

thanks a lot! going one whole round in getting rejected by ntu and then getting accepted again is all worth it.really! we are fated to be frens :D i am truly happy to know u! i still have so much to say but too tired. falling asleep now. shall update again the nex time i am back from nbs camp :D

i must learn to put down the heavy burden to lead and enjoy life i my yellow yellow world:D

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i believe subway cookies will cheer me up for the rest of the day until i meet my BEST ROOMMATE SHUQIN FOR DINNER:DD:D:D:D:D: hehehe! today is a happy tuesday!

Thanks for the cookies! ( i hope u would see this, this time) hahha! 200 calories each! oh gosh! my height and weight on thurs how?! hahaha!

it feels good to be surprised:D maybe i shld try giving a few too:D surprises always cheer ppl up! heheh!

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shall go for lunch in 20mins time:D WOOTS! many thoughts passed thru my mind this morning and yesterday night! oh wow! yesterday, when i banked in the money i got from tuition, i suddenlt have this sense of satisfaction. really. nobody thought i could do it, but slowly slow one step by a time, i am moving towards my goal. To me, its not really abt the money, but abt myself. once i set a goal, i MUST achieve it ! of course, i am not some sadist that scrimp and save just to get to my goal,( although i believe i can if i am desperate)i spent a lot this whole hols, bought a lot a lot of stuff, and stil wants to buy more. yet my goal never ever left my mind. hahah! PROUD:D

HAd some serious society talk with bk yesterday:D he sounded really scary. i mean, the society he mentioned sounded scary. i know it myself, reality has not hit me yet. i know its there but yet the whole harshness of it hasnt sink in totally to me. Maybe in uni i would experience it? he mentioned that it would be good to realise the harshness early, so that you can adapt, rather then when u realise, its too late for anything. sounds so true, yet i rather stay in my own fantasy world as long as possible at least until after uni.that is if i survived thru uni w/o being changed. haha

oh wow~! i think talking to guys make me realise how hard it is to be a guy.changed a lot of my perspectives, it dawned upon me how difficult i was in the past. hahah. yep i was super difficult with high expectations! i am really sorry to you! haha! the worst part was probably i din know wad i really wanted. most girls are like that, this is wad i feel, many of us we just dunno wad we really want. or maybe its just me, shldnt pull down the other girls. wahahha.anw, i am definitely enjoying my singlehood:D at least for now !

i might never be able to find someone better, but all i need is someone suitable:D

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HAHA! ok i am feeling freaking irritated! oh gosh! i think it is the lack of sleep yesterday that is getting on my nerves! 10 mins more to get off from work! keep making mistakes today! oh gosh! freaking freaking pissed off !at nth in particular! ok! no one can make me feel inferior w/o my persmission! yes! so i shall not care abt wad others think anymore! caring too much would just add on to my list of troubles! i wil enjoy my life as it is! flock with ppl with similar interests as me and stuff! cant get my mind off certain stuff! oh gosh! i am just too concerned abt other's perception of me! i shld have gotten off tht stage long ago! cant believe i am stil stuck there! yucks!

Anw,there are so many ppl i really want to meet! ohmigosh! i just dont want to continue working ready! ok ok! chill! its in tough times where ppl grow! i shall endure! endure endure! anw, tomoro someone meeting me off for lunch!:D shall think of some good food to please myself occasionally! someone who owes me ice-cream:D heheh! thinking of that cheers me up a little:D

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Oh gosh! its freaking monday again! haha. very very tired! cause i slept too little on sat! was gossipping in general.! haha! went for tri-uni pre-camp! woots! hahah! super ultra tired today!

Meeting Pearlyn for lunch at geylangserai market and BIRDSTRIKE for dinner at NIHON MURA later! i cant wait to see them:D hahha! i hope time flies and tomoro i will be going for tri-uni camp! oh gosh! i hope it would be fun! hahah!

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Oh gosh, guess wad happen, yes! i better dont anyhow write in case.sth happened yesterday but nth big. haha. haha. internet is such a no-privacy place. haha. ANYWAY, Thanks a lot 'aixin' benson, although i doubt u would ever see this. hahah! wow, first time i see guy so so so so so sweet. must really give u credit! BUT PLEASE DONT START FLOATING with your BIG ego! hahah! ok its nth much but yet most guys wont tink of i i suppose, or at least not to me. haha. Ok , he just gave me directions to ecp from my workplace, as in find the road out online and gave me the link. thts why ppl say its always small actions that make ppl feel touched! haha. apparently, it seems like i have fallen into another of your holes. haha. anw, he is a really nice guy la! Probably the first guy fren that really treats me as a fren, as in platonic friendship. oh gosh:D

Got into tri-uni camp and the ogl, vernon called me yesterday, the conversation was a bit funny,
but it definitely sounds super fun:D woah! looking forward to the BIRDSTRIKE BBQ later and the SUNDAY PRECAMP:D

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had a very long chat with yeqi yesterday. hmm, i guess these 7 mths of working experience had change quite a few of my perspectives, and also maybe due to the ppl i have met. Like my boss, he is always very positive, very inspiring. i guess its really very hard to reach his level. haha. but its ok. i wil try:D

i realise i dislike ppl that just keep lamenting abt their life, complaining abt their life and just dont do anything to it. oh well, no specific person that i can think of now but ya, i kinda dislike this genre of ppl although i have to admit that there is a side of me that is like that too. love to complain, keep comparing myself with others, complaining abt the unfairness in life when i suffer injustice, but yep, i am learning to step away from this esp after the recruit express episode:D

we were also talking abt aura, like from some ppl, u can just sense the aura, either sian aura, or cheerful and active one. haha. a very good eg would probably be keqin, she is always like so positive and cheerful even though her life is not exactly smooth-sailing, yet those whose lifes are much better complains. oh well, i hate this side of me too, trying my best to change it. slowly ba, one day that side of me will disappears.

i suppose thats why some ppl are just more popular than others. anw, read an inspiring book which says that in order to boost your self-esteem, stay away from negative ppl! Talk more to positive ppl. yep think thats quite true too. i am proud to be myself and i am proud of my life so far. i hope everyone is as well!

*Successful ppl see themselves differently, they believe that they can be successful, and yes, they would be eventually* i believe that i would be successful and i would be eventually:D

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